Lots of miscellaneous things have been tossing around in my mind the past week or so, kind of a thought-salad, and I have just started to realize that there is a bit of cohesiveness to the mixture.
The big issue this week has been the gastro-illness of the family pug, Bijou. She was very very sick for a week, apparently after swallowing some non-food items whole. But, this morning, just before her scheduled sugery, she experienced what appears to be a complete turn-around, and is herself again, eating and eliminating and playing, etc.
Another ingredient of the salad in my brain has been our finances. I have again been anxious and thinking too much about where we'll get the money for the things we need.
Yet another issue has been time-management. I still struggle against my newborn schedule, though I know that it has amazing benefits.
There are other things, too. Child-management, discipline, for myself and the kids, honoring my husband, meal planning, housework, world affairs, etc.
I have allowed my mind (again) to become this nightmarish maelstrom of cares and worries and anxieties, and I kind of drift through them, seemingly anchorless.
But here's the connection--if I am consciously trusting God, relying on Him, running to Him with these things, as I am supposed to be doing, the thought-salad never even gets started. All of these things should be brought to the throne and left there. I'm not the captain of this ship.
Frequently in our church, we sing the hymn "Come, Thou Font of Every Blessing", and I am invariably brought to tears by this verse--
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
The wandering part--what's the matter with us that we do this? I know, we're sinners, and that's why, but when we consider the magnificence of Christ, how can we do it, day after day?
As precious as this life is to me, with all of the joys God has given me, my heart doesn't pass a day without yearning for the end of this age.